Wow, thank you for so many positive comments on such an unusual topic. I’m glad you found it helpful. Personally, it wasn’t until I understood what “they” were up to that I realized how important it was to remain pure, and to have the continual companionship of the Holy Ghost. It also gave me eyes to see the ever-present war we are quite ignorantly fighting.
One of you mentioned that experiencing evil was part of spirituality. I have had a similar feeling, that spirituality is sensitive to spiritual things – and some of those things are evil. Righteousness is learning to conquer the evil and thereby luxuriate in all that is good.
In 1993 I had a life-altering spiritual experience which I alluded to in a previous Un-blog. For about a year afterward I experienced what the scriptures refer to as not being able to look upon evil except with abhorrence. I was so repelled by the world and the suffering and evil therein, that the very thought of it caused my soul to sicken. I remember trying to isolate myself from the world without success.
I was commuting about an hour each way at this time, and I used to enjoy listening to talk radio and classical music during my long drive. After this quickening event I couldn’t stand most of it, even most of the classical music seemed to suck the Holy Ghost from me. So, I drove in silence, praying, praying, praying. I got so that merely turning on the car gave me a devotional feeling and I would soar in the Spirit as I drove. I loved it.
Ultimately what happened was that I became fluent in the language of prayer after a year of praying several hours a day, and at the same time I became violently disgusted by the world. I longed to just leave mortality and return to a world where people were loving, nobody was being tortured, children were not starving, and babies weren’t born with drug addictions, HIV and cancer.
Near the end of this time I was driving home one day. It was mid-summer and Alaska was lush green. It was late, yet the sun was high, the light was long and golden. It was a perfect afternoon. I took a chance and flicked on the news and heard about the massacres taking place in Rwanda. One of the commentators said, “there were no devils in Hell – they were all in Rwanda.”
I prayed and begged and begged and wept inwardly as I drove. I wanted Christ to return and fry them all, to end the world – even if I had to fry with the lot of them – just make it quit.
The Spirit swept through me, and I received this insight: Everything was as it should be. God was in control of everything, and it was necessary for evil to amplify so that the cleansing would be just and equitable when it occurred. This I already believed. But, what came next was new to me. Basically it was that because God has an eternal perspective – which means that He sees eternally forward, and everlastingly into the past, he views this world and all that happens here very differently than we do. Everything and every-when is present before His eyes.
When we see a child suffering we are sucked into that moment with the child, and we mourn and sorrow. Yet, in that same instant God sees not only the sad moment, but that child’s vast background, and the promises and purposes of everything that the child himself agreed to, and actually engineered to occur in his life. And, He sees into the child’s future, to the eternal effect of the suffering, and if it will work salvation, or bring this child eternal advantage, or if it is changing the child’s parents toward righteousness, or whatever good it may bring, He can’t save the child in the small moment, and destroy it in the eternal world. He must choose the greatest good every moment offers, and sometimes it makes Him seem unfeeling. It is only our own inability to even imagine what good can come from any suffering that makes all this seem harsh.
The people who were dying in Rwanda were accomplishing many greater things than merely being hacked to death. They were playing their part in delivering evil to just damnation, and they were hastening the day when this world would exhaust its creator’s patience, and evil would be cleansed forever. For this they would receive eternal rewards which otherwise would be denied them.
With this insight I never again worried about the world condition. I still abhor almost all of it, but it does not concern me. Now, I recognize that if a little child or someone in Africa dying can move the world toward its intended conclusion, then why not the willing hands and heart of a priesthood holder, or temple-endowed mother, or righteous teenager?
I now consider it sinful to know that Zion must be built before Christ will come again – and then do nothing to build it. It seems far less valiant for me to hold the priesthood of God, to realize that everything Zion must be is already within my grasp, and then to not close my fingers around it. If a non-Christian in Africa can unwillingly spill his or her blood and promote the cause of righteousness, then how much more can we do, we who have the light, who walk within the sunshine of revelation, and whose hands and hearts should be pure enough to build Zion and end this world and all of the suffering it has always been.
Now, I look at my life and every day I rededicate myself to fulfilling whatever part I may play in ending this telestial world and ushering in a greater one. This is why I labor over this Un-Blog. And this is why I consider it such a glorious gift, such a miracle for a nobody like me to have the ear of hundreds of people, who like me are willing to give everything they have or hope to ever become, to the greatest cause mankind has ever undertaken – which is to arise to the stature of Enoch, build Zion, Invite our Savior to return and thereby end this telestial world forever.