How FTL Came to Be

Dear Friends of the Un-Blog,

My whole day has been absorbed with editing FTL. The publisher wants it back all finished by Monday. My wife and I are trying very hard to meet the deadline. So, I’ve been face down in the Holy Spirit. I bet you thought I was going to say something else . . .

It is quite interesting to read words I wrote 18 years ago, words that are still in print, still being read, still affecting people’s lives. I was not relishing this task, uncertain what kind of mess I might find in FTL.

Just between you and me, it has been a dozen years since I read FTL. Here is what I found – my understanding has enlarged significantly, but it has not changed in all of those years. The things I was given to understand in 1993, believe and write down, are still true, still valid and still vital. I found some unsophisticated language, lots of grammatical errors, too many commas, lots of repeated reasoning, but the message is still fresh. I am greatly relieved.

Back in December of 1993 I was walking down the hall of my home one afternoon when I was interrupted by a vision. I don’t recall what I was thinking about, but it was a very spiritual time in my life. The vision was of the major events of my life, kind of like the newsreel of your life you’re supposed to see upon your death. I was watching from behind and slightly above as my life progressed through many turns and twists. I was aware of each decision, what I was thinking, what the Holy Spirit was prompting me, and whether I chose to obey or disobey. I watched myself traverse many years with slow forward progress. It was crystal clear to me why. I had not learned to hear and obey.

Just a few days before this sudden vision, I had had a marvelous spiritual event that lasted all through the night. I saw in this newsreel that most of the progress that had brought me to this marvelous event had occurred quite recently, after I had learned to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit and to be obedient.

The Spirit then said, “Write it down and publish it.”

I was shocked. I had tinkered with writing now and then, but I wasn’t very good at it, and I had never considered writing an LDS doctrinal book. I was dabbling with science fiction (I’m a little embarrassed to admit). I literally said to the Lord, “are you sure you have the right person?” I’m pretty sure I heard Jesus Christ laugh. I didn’t know He had a sense of humor until that moment.

All I knew was what I had seen in this vision. I had no idea how to write it down, what to say, how to say it or how to get it published. The whole vision had occurred midstride, in a microsecond. No time had elapsed even though I had seen all of my life.

That evening I sat down at my computer and began to write. From the first moment on the Holy Spirit swept through me, lifted and enlightened and warmed me. I wrote furiously for hours. The next day I called my manager at my business and told him I was going to take a few months off – don’t call me unless the place burns down. He just said OK.

I remember writing so full of the Spirit that I would forget to eat, forget to take breaks, forget to breathe practically. I would stand up dizzy from not eating. I would weep tears into the keyboard and worry about shorting it out. When I went back to read what I had written, there were scriptures, quotes from Joseph Smith and many other authorities – and I couldn’t remember looking them up. The words I used felt like somebody else had written them. Prior to this I had never spoken or written this way. The most beautiful passages I did not remember writing. I’m sure I did, but I just don’t remember doing it.

After the book was finished and edited as well as I could, I found that it was almost impossible to publish it. Every imaginable obstacle arose to stop me. Every publisher turned me down. I became discouraged and worried that I would let the Lord down. I wondered if this was just a test. Perhaps I wasn’t supposed to publish it – just try my heart out.

Some months later I was walking out of a High Council meeting praying about the book. I was asking Heavenly Father “how am I ever supposed to publish this?” It seemed impossible. The Spirit said to me, “Two years”. It had already been 18 months. I resigned myself to another two years of struggling.

At that moment Evan, a friend who was also on the High Council, saw me standing in the hall. He approached and said, “The Spirit has been telling me for days to offer my help to you. Whatever you are working on, the Lord wants me to assist you. What’s going on?”

I told him of my experience so far of writing FTL and trying to get it published. I apologized that it wasn’t something he could help me with.

He laughed. “You apparently don’t know that I own a publishing company.”

I was floored – completely speechless. He said “give me your manuscript and I will publish it. I will also edit it, design the cover and distribute it. Apparently this is important to the Lord. We will talk later about money if that needs to come up. Right now, I’m being commanded by the Lord to get your book printed and distributed.”

To make the story much shorter, in mid-December of that same year I found myself sitting in the LDS bookstore in Anchorage, Alaska, pen in hand, just about to autograph the first book of the first edition of FTL. A line of a hundred or more people extended out the door and into the mall. I was almost immobilized by the wonder of it all. The first person in line was my Sister Cecile. I smiled up at her and opened her copy to sign it. The Spirit stopped me and repeated in my mind, “Two Years.”

I had assumed the Lord meant two years from the moment I had prayed and asked how long, and how it could ever be done, just before my friend Evan offered his help.

My vision changed and I saw myself in my mind’s eye standing in my hallway, midstride, having just seen the vision of my life. That vision had occurred on December 17, 1993 at 10:00 in the morning. I was sitting in that bookstore on December 17, 1995 at 10:00 in the morning – two years to the day, hour, minute and probably second.

I just thought you might enjoy knowing how FTL came to be.

Brother John

© May 2011, John M. Pontius, all rights reserved. Non-commercial reproduction permitted.