If there is one thing that I have learned about life, it is that nothing I thought was going to occur in my life actually happened, and most everything I was determined wouldn’t happen – actually did.
I have focused on a hundred different things, only to have each of them knocked out of my grasp. I realize that everything I presently value the most – blessings I could not have conceived of before, let alone plotted a course to obtain them – have come as a result of the Lord taking away what I thought I wanted, and replacing them with gloriously greater things.
It took me a lot of years to submit to this process, to view these events of correction as an act of love and grace. I’m not sure it is possible for a mortal to entirely understand this process. It is certainly not possible to understand it while looking at your empty hand, wondering how life could be so cruel. But, if one looks back with faith, looking through the lens of grace, it becomes clear that our greatest blessings came this way.
I can’t help be also see that I asked for every one of them. I prayed diligently for each blessing, and then uncomprehendingly endured the oftentimes painful process of obtaining them. These weren’t random lessons a harsh schoolmaster inflicted upon me because the present course of study demanded it. These were blessings I requested, for which I was willing to pay any price (even though I stupidly had no idea how costly they were). Each of these beautiful things, these glorious views, this towering flame of hope and the brightness of faith approaching the summit of knowing, each of these divine gifts came at my request.
I can see this now, and I am eternally grateful. I now realize that everything righteous I have and will ask for has and will come to me. Seeing this process now, after years of undefined suffering now focused into gifts, knowledge and blessings most precious to me, makes the price I paid seem as if I had dropped a penny into a wishing well, and even as I childishly mourned its loss, miracles were placing chests of eternal gold in my way.
© July 2011, John M. Pontius, all rights reserved. Non-commercial reproduction permitted.